The Most Abusive Character in Film. Stanley Kubrick’s Jack Torrance in The Shining.

Sneering, snarling, completely lost. (Image by author)

Great films give us great characters for good or bad. Scorsese has more than his share. And while he sometimes includes a big fat hint in the title — Raging Bull, Goodfellas, The Wolf of Wall Street — we all go on quoting and posting gifs of these truly awful people being awful. But Kubrick? His evil is truly evil. Whether it’s the desecration of Gene Kelly’s Singin’ in The Rain in a rape scene in A Clockwork Orange, or HAL 9000’s inability to accept fault and ensuing murderous rampage to cover up his mistake, Kubrick chills with his unblinking camera and meticulous craft. These antiheroes stay with us because they are so real.

And Jack Torrance in The Shining is perhaps the most real of all onscreen abusers. Whatever “shined” at the Overlook Hotel, Jack Torrance was always a dangerous man, the Overlook simply emphasized all that was twisted in him.

I once heard that all Kubrick films can be summed up as: The dehumanization of man by [fill in the blank]. In Dr. Strangelove and 2001, it’s technology. In Paths of Glory and Full Metal Jacket, it’s war. Lolita and Eyes Wide Shut are about sex. In Barry Lyndon it’s society. The Shining, dir. Stanley Kubrick, 1980, is about a man dehumanized by masculinity, or a specific version of it. The utterly antisocial and toxic kind.

Kubrick let us know that from the beginning. Look at the character of his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) in the beginning speaking with the doctor about she and Jack’s (Jack Nicholson) son. Danny (Danny Lloyd), blacked out and fell in the bathroom. She is pale and thin and chain smoking. When asked about her family’s recent move to Colorado, we learn that Jack had gotten drunk and dislocated Danny’s arm at their old home in Vermont. She diminishes the incident as “you know, just one of those things,” and smiles when she announces that Jack hasn’t touched a drink since then.

We are immediately told that Jack a threat. A man who won’t simply move his family from Vermont to Colorado to escape his misdeeds, he then proceeds to isolate them further by accepting the winter caretaker position at the Overlook Hotel. A hotel the manager told Jack was inaccessible during winter, the subject of a feud with native tribes, and had a recent winter caretaker who murdered his wife and two daughters with an axe and then killed himself with a shotgun.

“Cozy!” Wendy declares of the cramped area they’ll be forced to live in while at the hotel. While the kitchen, which she’s immediately sent to with Mr. Hallorann (Scatman Cruthers), an older black man, is immense and industrial. The polar opposite of a family kitchen.

Jack’s escalation to violence doesn’t take long, about a month going by the startling screen cards announcing the day of the week. His stated intention in taking the job is to write a book. We only ever see Wendy doing any caretaking of the hotel.  Whether she’s checking the boilers, cooking and bringing food to Jack, looking after or playing with Danny or communicating with the local forest rangers about the impassable roads and downed phone lines, she’s engaging in life. Meanwhile Jack plays with his handballs in the large hall he’s staked out as his writing area.

As Wendy, Danny and Jack become more isolated, the worse Jack becomes. It’s as though the release from society and its norms with checks on behavior releases something in Jack. That something is alluded to on the family drive to the hotel: what The Donner Party became after they were left snowbound in the mountains. Worse than animals. Degraded and depraved humanity.

Jack begins with agitated hostility. When Wendy enters the hall to check on him, he orders her out, telling her to leave him alone “and . . . start now by getting the fuck out.” Wendy really has no response to his casual cruelty than to suck in her breath and leave. She isn’t a person to him. Neither is Danny.

When Jack does make his “deal with the devil,” declaring “[he’d] sell his soul for a goddamned glass of beer,” he’s crude with the approving bartender who appears, Lloyd (Joe Turkel). Wendy is “the old sperm bank,” and Danny is “the little fucker.” Danny spread his papers all over his office, so Jack just pulled him away so dislocating his shoulder was Danny’s fault, he explains. Jack complains of “The White Man’s Burden.” Later on, Mr. Hallorann is referred to as “a n—-r cook.” The Bartender says, “Women. Can’t live with them.” Leaving the usual end of the phrase ominously missing.

Meanwhile the film reminds us of the rape of the native lands in the hotel’s faux native decor. Alcohol and alcoholism mark Jack’s degeneration. And when Wendy and Danny go into the hedge maze, we are reminded of the illogical, isolated and frightening situation they are in.

After the snowstorm, and Danny’s apparently violent experience in one of the hotel rooms, Jack grows worse. He treats checking out the room as an annoying interruption. And after having encountered one of his demons in what appears at first to be a beautiful naked woman, he lies to Wendy. He gaslights her into wondering if Danny really is the problem and if she is just being dramatic. In the meantime, Jack pulls the transistors from the radio to the forest service, and destroys the “snow cat” that Wendy said she could drive while touring the hotel.

All this time, Wendy had been keeping up appearances. She kept wearing cute but warm outfits and makeup, which Danny uses in the “Redrum” scene. Making breakfast in bed for Jack. She is the perfect picture of an abused woman. She’s completely isolated with a man she knows can be violent and has a volatile temper. She has no way to contact anyone, and she cannot leave her circumstances. She’s trying her best to keep it together and keep him calm.

Jack rubs her face in the situation when, after finally deciding to leave the hotel in the unbeknownst to her destroyed snow cat for the now catatonic Danny’s sake, Jack yells to her to “Go check it out! You’re not going anywhere, Wendy!”

Wendy eventually realizes her survival and that of Danny requires her to do something drastic. With luck she manages to confine Jack for a while, but when he gets out, she shoves Danny through a tiny window in their bathroom. She looks doomed until Mr. Hallorann, the only person who thought to check on the family, pulls up in another snow cat. After murdering Hallorann with an axe, Jack chases Danny out into the snow.

Here Jack, now howling unintelligibly and barely walking, is outwitted by Danny’s knowledge of the hedge maze. Wendy loads Danny into Hallorann’s snow cat, and they leave. Jack is left completely alone and frozen to death.

Jack Torrance is a terrifying character who believes his own feelings override that of any other character in the film. He dislocates Danny’s shoulder because he’s drunk and late. He relocates his family across the US to avoid his actions and their repercussions. His wife, who is a shy bookworm, is left alone with their son in a new town where neither she nor Danny have friends or support, except through insufficient institutional support in a kind female doctor. Jack blames Wendy for his unrealized dreams of becoming a writer, and further isolates her and their son by agreeing to live in the inaccessible and creepy Overlook Hotel. Jack’s pursuit of alcohol and women, his lack of respect for his wife and care for his son are the demons that drive him to his cold, lonely end.

Jack was always as he was and allowed and encouraged to be by the history represented in the film. He was always frozen on the inside. He wanted to be alone. Unfortunately, he was thinking of John Houston or John Wayne. Instead he was just a little man crippled inside and then without, whose only real contribution to society ended up being reams of all cap type complaining that “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

Namasté you shining legends.

– JL ✌🏼❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤🩶🤍😳

If you or anyone you know is experiencing domestic/sexual violence please contact RAIIN by phone or chat.

If you’re considering suicide, self harm, or have a mental health crisis: call or text 988 any time to talk or text with someone from the National Suicide Prevention and Crisis Hotline. Help is always available in English or Spanish.

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Attica! Attica! Cultivating Calm, Kindness and Patience for Crazy Times.

Al Pacino, Penelope Allen, and Charles Durning in the famous Attica! scene.

Brooklyn is suffering under a searing heat wave in August, when two veterans pull rifles on clerks at a bank. Sonny, the lead burglar, needs money to pay for his trans partner’s gender affirming care. The problem? There’s barely any cash in the vault. When the cops show up, the robbery descends into a hostage situation. As hundreds of heavily armed police surround the building, the media and a mob of angry people push against barricades to cheer or spit on Sonny as he curses and challenges the cops.

In the middle of one of the hottest summers ever, after years of war, a criminal Presidency, riots over police violence against Black folks, and rampant inflation, Sonny becomes the hero/villain focus for all the boiling tensions and divisions in the city and across the country.

Sounds like the news. But this is 1975, and this is the movie Dog Day Afternoon, dir. Sidney Lumet, starring Al Pacino and John Cazale as the would be bank robbers.

Honestly, if we don’t want the US, democracy, and the peace and health of this world spiralling into insanity and destruction, we’re going to need to start stashing away some goodwill, calm, patience and kindness skills now.

And we can start right now, today, this instant, with ourselves. Extend some goodwill and grace to yourself. Stop the worrying. Stop the rehashed arguments in your head, and replaying 3 am regrets. Give yourself a break.

I don’t mean go wild, like Sonny in the film. I do suggest we all take up relaxing hobbies, start taking walks, watching sunsets, and looking for good and joy and beauty wherever we can find it. We must get over ourselves. And whether that looks like a meditation practice, using the medical/recreational, therapy, making new memories, or walking your dog, it does not matter. What matters is that we just drop our existential crises for a minute, and learn to be OK.

The other thing we can do right now is work that kindness muscle out on other people. It seems like everyone forgot how to live in the world with others since the Pandemic and the toxic politics, the riots, shootings, people freaking out on airplanes or at a showing of the Barbie movie.

And it’s real simple too. Let me give you an example from my life. Yesterday I had a cold, and I was hot and bleh as I walked my dog back to the house. Well, a lady slowed her car down and said something like “Look at how she waits for you! That’s a good girl!” And at first I thought, “Waits for me? Like am I not walking her right? I’m sick. Gimme a break.” But two steps later, I made a choice. To take what she had said at face value. She was complimenting my dog! Bam. Done. Bad mood gone. And all it took was half a second and decision.

We all need to do this as much as possible. Not take offence. Even if you can stretch your mind to find the comment or action neutral, that’s better than raging in public, private, online and off all day every day.

Of course, there are actual jerks out there, but if I learned a thing from my parents, it was that most of the time they just nodded and said bland things like “Uh-huh.” “Ya don’t say?” “Wow.” And sometimes a well timed, “What makes you say/think that?” It worked on me.

And obviously we’re going to need to develop the courage and strength to protect ourselves and others from rage, bigotry, and the rest of our new favorite pastimes. But you know what works really well? Walking away. Or walking away with the person being targeted. Or at least giving the hater your back. Leaving the room. Hanging up the phone. Maybe with a “I said I wasn’t going to discuss that anymore.” They keep discussing? Click. Blocking some numbers and social media for some. He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day. And avoids jail or court fines.

Of course there are times to stand up to bullies, to use your voice, to set limits and boundaries. But save that up for when it matters. Don’t waste it on the internet people who live in your phone.

Angry people are usually afraid and/or sad people. And since there’s probably no shortage of these in anyone’s friend or family circles, practice on them. Someone makes a cruel remark after a bad day? “Wow. I know you had a bad day, but that was uncalled for.” “I don’t use that word.” “We don’t do that in this house.” Etc.

One other thing, that’s just peopling 101, basic Dale Carnegie stuff. Remembering people’s names. Giving someone a neutral compliment like, “That’s a nice sweater.” Saying people’s names. And asking questions. Nothing folks love more than hearing their own name and talking about themselves.

Stop emotional bean counting. Someone doesn’t return your calls? Oh well. Maybe they’re going through a thing. If you know someone is unreliable, quit asking them for favors and getting ticked when they flake out on you. I mean this is actually really easy stuff. Just shake it off and get back to your life.

Oh yeah, and do have a life. I suggested some ideas above, but getting out and about, making plans big or small, staying off your phone, binging Netflix, finally getting around to watching That Long Important Movie you’ve been putting off. Read a book. Do a crossword. Call your grandmom. Seriously. You can do this, I swear. And it probably won’t even kill you.

Anyhow, call it grace, civility, kindness, calm, patience, doesn’t matter. But whatever you do decide to call what you want to cultivate, aim for OK. Just being OK seems like a major improvement sometimes. Make it easy to be OK. And for others to be OK. And be OK around you. And just rest in the calm of having done and being enough. Maybe help your Vet buddy start a Gofundme for his trans partner, so he doesn’t commit armed robbery. Or put some necessities in the local “Blessings Box.” Help others be OK.

And don’t forget to ask for help if you’re really not OK. With all the good karma you’ve put in the bank, you can now make a withdrawal, no stick ups necessary.

Namasté you OK legends!

– JL ✌🏼❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤🤍🧑🏻‍🎤

If you or anyone you know is experiencing domestic/sexual violence please contact RAIIN by phone or chat.

If you’re considering suicide, self harm, or have a mental health crisis: call or text 988 any time to talk or text with someone from the National Suicide Prevention and Crisis Hotline. Help is always available in English or Spanish.

Check out my Instagram!! And connect with me on Facebook here and here. I’m now on Threads, too!

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Flashbacks. And Why it Still Hurts as Bad.

Apparently actually achieving this is super hard. (Image by Author.)

Let’s say you’re a soldier. I’m thinking of WWII, the Ardennes Forest in France, and the Battle of the Bulge — snowy, cold, Christmas time. Nazi shelling killed the rest of your squad, but you survived. You were just “lucky.” You go to a hospital where you are sedated, sleep a long time, then go back home to your family in The States. You get married, make babies, have a career. The American Dream.

You may do OK. But how would snow be different for you? Maybe you loved it as a kid, but as an adult it’s always associated in your mind with your squad that day in the Ardennes forest. People may even comment on it. “You used to love snow!” Or, “The kids really want you to take them sledding.” “It’s just a little snow!” How do you think you’d react? What if a friend asked you hunting in the snow? Gun fire in the snow in the forest? Even fireworks. How’d that work out?

If you’re thinking, yeah they make movies about this stuff. Wounded warrior. Guy comes back, can’t adjust, drinks, maybe gets violent, won’t do certain things. And…he has flashbacks.

What really is a flashback? Sometimes it’s pictured as a visual hallucination in a dream. But it’s more than that. How does the person having the dream wake up? They’re in a pool of sweat, screaming, starting up from bed. That’s because flashbacks have more to do with a bodily response to something that triggers their emotional, raw, as it happened memory.

In The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, he explains the parts of the brain and glands that cause this. But he says the underlying issue is basically this: our brains evolve in the womb as they did in our evolution. At the bottom is the Lizard Brain coming into the base of our heads. That detects threats, and controls other survival mechanisms. Above that is the warm-blooded Mammal Brain. This deals with the emotions a step beyond flight, fight, freeze. On top of that I’ll just call our Big Dumb Ape Brain that deals with reason and logic.

You know when you have an immediate, Lizard Brain moment. Say you’re out walking and a car is speeding towards you, and you roll out of the way like you’re Tom Cruise doing his own stunts. You probably don’t even remember anything going through your head. You just acted. That is the Lizard Brain in action. The emotions you have a short while later is your Mammal Brain letting out all the variety of feels. And, up the information eventually goes to the Big Dumb Ape Brain to the centers of logic etc, where you say, “Whew! That was lucky!” And you go for a walk the next day.

Now let’s say you watched that happen to another pedestrian. And they were hurt or worse. You were helpless to do anything to help them. You might feel about walking as our hypothetical solider does about snow.

So, what’s the difference? Why can you move on in the case where you were able to get away, and not in the one where you were helpless to do anything? Because you were helpless. Your mind wants to restore the house to order, send things up the brain chain, but your Lizard Brain is like, “No. I’m going to keep pumping out adrenaline until this is over.” You can’t fight your dead comrades back to life. You can’t run for safety. You can’t save anyone. So there you are. Stuck between fight and flight.

That is why the body reacts with all sorts of strange chemical signals when you have been helpless. Reminders immediately call up that moment as it happened while you were helpless. And that’s why you don’t want to go for a walk, and even the thought of snow or fireworks or guns triggers a physical reenactment of the original event. This is the essence of Trauma. You’re stuck in Lizard Brain when you need to move things up along to the emotional and then rational mind, where you put things in perspective

This sort of powerless experience, not to mention the related shame, sense of constantly being on the edge of certain doom, will eclipse your life. Some folks become addicts: to video games, to gambling, food, drugs and alcohol, violence, self-harm, porn, suicide, and XTREME sports.  These things both numb the emotional discomfort and cause health, social and family problems. If you’re constantly on edge, how can you keep from emotional outbursts even with the people you love? This is not an excuse to behave badly, it’s just an explanation of what is happening.

So, how to begin to let ourselves feel our feelings without acting out, hurting others, and fueling our own unhappiness? How do we calm down that Lizard Brain and begin to heal?

Obviously, a good trauma informed therapist is helpful, but not always accessible. Although the Y does offer trauma informed counseling, and there are groups if that is your thing. Medication may be helpful to establish a stronger mental foundation to work on. But I wouldn’t recommend medication without a therapist, if you can help it. And the larger your village of choice and support, the better.

In the meantime though, I can suggest some very simple practices and essential messages to get through to yourself. You need to learn to feel physically safe in your own body. You need to learn that you’re OK. You’re not embarrassing. You are no less worthy than any other human being. Everybody does dumb stuff. You’re fine. You’re totally fine. There’s no shame in your feelings or in what you couldn’t prevent or stop. And there is zero shame if you acted out that sense of unworthiness, lack of safety, numbing, and powerlessness for a long time.

You can talk or write about these feelings. You can write about stuff that you are afraid of or resent then set it on fire. You can run or shake or dance it out. Exercise like yoga. A walk outside, especially near nature. Anything to get you out if your brain and into your body.

But here is one simple practice I can recommend. It helps me feel in the present moment, to remove myself from whatever is troubling me, and try to gain that perspective I wasn’t able to process in helpless moments.

Get comfy, lying down or sitting. Back straight but relaxed.  Close your eyes. Take in a few deep breaths, hold for a second, then open your jaw and sigh that air slowly out. Do that a few times. Roll your shoulders down and back your rib cage and away from your ears. Notice where you are. Are there any sounds? If there are too many, can you listen for the silences? Relax the muscles in your face and scalp. Keep breathing rhythmically. Just let your body take over. As you breathe, feel into your feet your toes, your legs, stomach, hips, back, chest, shoulders, arms, hands, neck, and back to the top of your head. Feel where your weight touches the floor or surface. Notice the textures, the feel of the air, the smell. And continue to use your breath to sense and relax your body. If thoughts and emotions arrive, pay them attention, ask what they want to tell you, thank them and let them go. And just keep repeating this until you feel a little separation between yourself and the thoughts and emotions.

That is the beginning of peace and healing. That plus a routine of basic self-care. Learning to feel OK, safe, and even good in your body. Shedding shame and replacing it with self-love and compassion. It may only be the start of your journey,  but it helps me. I mean, bully for you if you’ve made it anywhere in life without confronting some helplessness that reappears as demons. But for those of us who do, understanding is the key to undoing the damage to your mind and body. I hope this helps.

Namaste you survival, warrior legends!

– JL ✌🏼💚💐🫠

If you or anyone you know is experiencing domestic/sexual violence please contact RAIIN by phone or chat.

If you’re considering suicide, self harm, or have a mental health crisis: call or text 988 any time to talk or text with someone from the National Suicide Prevention and Crisis Hotline. Help is always available in English or Spanish.

Check out my Instagram!! And connect with me on Facebook here and here. I’m now on Threads, too!

Got a COMMENT? Click below! I love the feedback. If you like what you’ve read, TAP the Star LIKE button below. LIKE and SHARE on Facebook. Follow and share!